Republican Family Values

Meet Congressman Vito Fossella (R-NY). He is a family man with a wife and 3 kids living on Staten Island. He is the only Republican in Congress from New York City today.

He has a strong record on family values, consistently voting for antigay initiatives. His family values are so strong that he has shunned his gay sister and refuses to see her or go to family events if she is there.

His pleasant life came crashing down last month when he was arrested for a DWI in Alexandria, Virginia. He claimed he had to visit his sick daughter. Well, it turns out that his sick daughter was Laura Fay, a former Air Force Congressional liaison with whom Fossella has been having an affair since 2003. In fact, it turns out he is the father of her 3 year old daughter.

Now he is under investigation for a 2003 trip to Paris, France, paid for by public funds. Originally billed as a official business, it turns out that it was more of a romantic tryst with Ms. Fay.

So, our good, God-fearing Republican Congressman is now accused of DWI, adultery, fathering a bastard child, embezzlement, and general lying and hypocrisy. Good thing he's not a really bad person, like his lesbian sister and her girlfriend!

Vito the Embezzler?